Locked Out.

Its knocking answer it,
Bring it in, no losing it this time,
Dont know how it got lockedout,
I saw it coming, I oughta have known,
Typical me let it have its way away.

The door was closed,
As always as always,
Gotta find the key,
Forgot where I put it,
Sit down think, before I sink.

Thought it was still with me,
Delusions illusions kept it away,
Quick sand all around me blinded me,
I let it suck me in, almost lost myself,
Gotta keep my head up the chaos.

The storm is coming,
Eerie silence humming,
Its loudness started to wake me up,
Cell by cell, life's gonna pour in,
Not just yet though,
Its still knocking, the door aint budging.

Not gonna be easy I know,
Cuz I forgot how the door got there,
Maybe fear built it, forgot to put the key hole,
Maybe it was pain, an armour of hurt,
Tears into bricks, toughest of walls,
Only sadness trapped in, cant seep through.

Flip back the pages,
Re-read the story, ask why this time,
Its somewhere between those lines,
Corked up and sealed,
Unscrew, jump in, weep, laugh out,
Make peace with all the screaming shadows.

No backin out now,
Its hollerin louder, nails in the air,
Break out, just smile thats enough,
Gotta find that laugh,
Caught in the throat,
In bottles no more, no friggin more.

Chains fallin apart, cracking salt all around,
I see I see, oh I feel it,
Door stands open, warm welcome awaits,
Thrust out my hand, soft iron grip,
Grinnin arms wide, huggin and kissin,
Bliss I missed you so, dont ever leave me.

Screaming Silence.

I wanna be that person,
Dont know when I'll explode,
The Flood gates straining,
The years it held,
The years it bled,
Fighting the urge to degrade.

I wanna be that person,
Everytime I hear I dive in,
Everytime I see I come alive,
Wake up from sleep walking,
Didnt even know I could till that moment,
The sudden truth came so slow.

I wanna be that person,
My eyes wont stop searching,
Have to stop looking behind,
Just that I cant, thats where my life is frozen,
Come back or I'll wash away,
Hold me together make the pain stop,
Take my hand walk me through this.

I wanna be that person,
Never found the strength,
The barricade and facade helps the face,
What lies beneath, naked and bruised,
Time has hardened the face,
Underneath its still black and blue,
When they meet I know who'll take over.

I wanna be that person,
Strong enough to break through,
The walls of my fear,
Face the music, enjoy it, unafraid,
Find you to find me again,
Stop the journey, reach the end,
Just to start one again with you.

I wanna be that person,
Not full of pain,
Painting the world for you,
To never sleep again,
Open myself, let it all flow,
Dissolve in you.

I wanna be that person,
Fill you in my arms,
Just to say I missed you like hell,
I wanna be that person,
Not a goddamn version,
I just wanna be.